Small update

Hi there! We're just a day away from June. 

Things have been ok. I have been taking custom portrait orders so I have been busy with that.

For June since it is the month of Ramadan, I have decided to take it slow, especially for events. I realised I do a lot of events, at least once per month so for now I just have the monthly MAAD event and then maybe try to rest as much as possible and that's why I am taking custom portrait orders. It would be nice to have a break for a bit I think. Oh but I will also have some of my cards overs at Haji Lane for another month of having a space at Craft Assembly, that will be in mid June. 

Oh today I got an official letter from NAFA about my printmaking class which I am super excited about. I can't wait to learn so that's fun. I will have the first class on the 29th of June! 

I think we are all caught up for now. 

Till next time, take it easy.

"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."

I have all these ideas but I don't feel motivated enough to get started. Most of all I just want to draw what I feel like drawing. And I feel like we should stick with that right? It's better when you draw what you feel like drawing. So lately I have been drawing all these black and blue drawings and it just feels nice. For these drawings I haven't been using my usual watercolour. I have been using the Pentel brush pens and it's been fun. I love the strokes it makes. I think I have an idea of a zine for these black and blue drawings. I am going to be turning 3-0 soon. It feels weird to say when people ask my age because I don't really know what goes in their mind when I say that I am almost 30. Especially when it comes to them asking questions that's relating to my illustrations. It feels wrong to say I am 30. And I am drawing all these things. When I know it shouldn't. I just start at a late age, I guess. I didn't go to art school because I wasn't passionate about art. I like drawing but that's the point where it stops. I just like drawing. I was more into history and I like reading and I just like to be in that world. So I haven't been doing this all my life. I was always a bookish person and I just like being that way but always I didn't know what I want to be doing. I worked at a bookstore because that's what a person who likes to read should try I guess, well that's what I feel and so I did. And then the library because more books so why not. The library job was a bit too comfortable for my constantly active mind. I wanted to be doing more. And that was also the time when Oren and I became more than penpals and we were in a relationship and I started drawing and reading and crafting just so I can keep my mind of how far Oren is. I just needed to fill the empty space until Oren comes. So I drew a lot then. And it was fun. Drawing is fun. Oren always knew that I like drawing and buying stationeries so he gave me a subscription to ArtSnack where you get all these fun new drawing materials to try out every month. So I tried out drawing with these new materials and I just drew and drew until he came to be with me. And because of that I just felt the need to draw. Drawing does fills up my mind. 

SO the point of this long post is(well I'm not really sure). Well I wanted to say that the zine could be something that I make to welcome in the big 30! I still don't feel like I am 30. I just don't feel any age right now. Mostly I am just glad that I am able to be doing what I enjoy even after everything that I have experience. So that's a great thing definitely. 

Oh! Another exciting news is that I have recently just signed up for a class, Printmaking in NAFA. It's just a part time course, one weekday, every week. It's exciting. I want to be learning new things so I thought this course would be the right place to start. 

Alright, till next time, take it easy.

You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing...

It has been a busy start of the week. As usual, I am busy with my part time job. It can get very tiring even though it's four hours from Monday to Friday. It can get very busy and I get physically tired and I can't focus or do anything really and just want to sleep but I rarely can fall asleep because I feel like I am not doing enough. Sometimes I tell myself that it's ok, you're working part time so you are allowed to take it slow. Do not stress. Well it's hard to heed your own advice sometimes. And it gets you into thinking about what you are actually doing. But I always try to tell myself that this is all ok. I get to do what I really like to be doing. It's pretty cool that I get to do all these things. Drawing opened up so many opportunities for me. And I am thankful for that. 

Lately I keep thinking how I can move forward with being an illustrator. I feel like I am not doing enough. I know I am still trying to find my style. I also know that I am not drawing enough. Well at least that is what I feel. 

You know what, it actually have been great. I am not working just to get to the weekend. Even if I did wish for the weekend, it's just so I can spend time with my husband. But yeah, I'm grateful that I am not wishing for the weekend. I am not wasting my days wishing it's the weekend. So this is ok. I just need to do what I always wanted to be doing this past year, to draw. Being an illustrator or being a small business owner is a thing but it's not important. I think it is secondary. What is important is to draw. Sometimes when times are hard, I always feel like I'm doing it all wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about how I am doing financially but it's also hard not to think of it that way. Even though I don't want to admit it, I do live off what I make from my online shop/art markets/custom portraits. Working part time kind of help with the stress a bit. I think that's how I tell myself to not be stressed out so much. But yeah, I do live off what I make from SatsumaOrange. Well it kind of feels good to say that. But again, I don't want this to be about that too. I don't want that to be the drawing force of SatsumaOrange. My main goal is to be able to become an illustrator. A title that I am hoping that I will be comfortable to call myself in the future. For now, I'm just a draw-er. I draw and make things and I love every moment of it. 

Writing does sort out your thoughts. I forgot how I like to write. I used to write all the time. When I met my pen pal, I wrote to him all the time, to make sense of my thoughts, of the world and everything. I still kind of write to him now, more texting and talking since he is here. 

"I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."

Joan Didion, Why I Write

Oh by the way I've uploaded my first ever zine on here. Have a look-see if you like :)

This week also I have been busy with getting ready for the upcoming market with The Local People x Enabling Singapore at their Everyday Folk Market. It'll be for the 8th Annual World Austism Day. And I am glad to be able to part of it :)

Thanks for reading. Till next time, take it easy - SO