some of the things we were busy with in June.

I started to use this app called Habit Tracker. It’s like a habit tracker, just so I will do more work, be more active. It’s just like a reminder notification but it’s an app with some fancy things so hopefully it will keep me in check more. Haha. It has been helping. I pause and write more(in my journal). I draw more, and also exercise for a bit(on and off). And also to update my Instagram account(which I have trouble doing). For the most part it has helped me to draw and write more. so I am hoping to be able to continue to do more.

I’ve recently rediscovered Pinterest. It’s a great place to look up ideas for the new house. I don’t really know what my main design goals are or aesthetic or something but I know I want to try something different maybe? This is our first house together, currently we are living with my mom at our family house which I grew up in(well from my teens till now) I’m going to be sad to leave, I’m already feeling nervous about having to leave but that’s the thing about changes I guess. We are still in the same area. We are just 15 minutes walk away. We’ll probably still be spending our time here from time to time. We’ve been involving E in our decision making(most of it) so as to get him used to the idea of us moving. So far he is excited to see the process of the renovation. And we talk a lot about moving, just so the idea is not foreign to him. I know it might probably be hard when we actually move and so we will try and remember to hold space for that when the time comes.

I think I spent so many hours now on Pinterest just looking to see if my choices are going to turn out ok :) A lot of overthinking things. But the main thing is that we just want the house to be liveable I guess. We bought a resale so a lot of things have to be changed. So that’s the bulk of the renovation, take out and change everything. We chose the house because of the location and also the one thing is that after seeing a few houses, this house was different. It had a different layout than the usual. And when I saw it, I was like this house is so cute. I don’t know. It was nice. The layout of the house, we are mostly keeping it the same, we like the layout, we also like what the previous owner did to the house with their cute niches and entrance, and kitchen window and door. I should probably make another post about the house :) I’ll try and remember.

But yes, that’s what we have been busy in, in June. lots of cake were eaten. we celebrated birthdays, father’s day, our wedding anniversary! Our 8th wedding anniversary! Can’t believe we have been married for 8 years. It has been a while huh. It’s strange to think. Life is a bit different for three of those years. We went through a lot, we are definitely more tired now. We are older. We are tired. haha I’m glad that we are still together, just keeping on, being each other’s partner. And soon, we’ll start another new experience in our new house which is exciting but also scary and I remember telling O that if it was just us two, it will probably be less scary to move because now there’s E, and we have to think about how it will affect him and we have to make space for all the big feelings instead of just ours. But as always we will be trying our best.

till next time,m

Things I have been up to (mostly)

It has been a while. Time just kind of slipped past. I was busy with the part time course that I took. Towards the end of it, I didn’t even have time to do anything that is remotely closed to relaxing but whew I did it. I still have the final exam to sit for but that I think I can handle on my own. When you are doing a group project, there’s no such thing as do it on your own time. I didn’t even get to draw. Or even play or read. For a while too, I didn’t have enough brainpower to think up activities for E. Luckily we were already doing homeschooling and we got this curriculum for E and it has been a great help. We still go about our normal rhythm but everything was done with less energy. Luckily O was and is still a big help in sharing our parenting duties.

Another thing that has taken up quite a bit of my headspace is the renovations for the new house. Currently renovations is just getting started. Still can’t believe that we are actually moving. But also excited. I am excited to get our own space. Also excited about organising things, decorating and just creating more memories as a family in the new house.

For January, there was the birthdays. And then February, we got the keys to our house but as we are in no hurry, we only just started recently with the renovations. On E’s side, we tried weaning him off his pacifier. It was hard here and there but we survived I think.

Then there’s March, O’s parents finally got to visit. And E got to spend some time with his grandparents. He hasn’t seen them for two years. He mostly talk to them on video calls so it was nice for E and O to finally see get to see and spend time with them. And also, E transitioned from his crib to a small kid bed! Which is pretty exciting and I have been waiting to do it from since he started sleeping without his pacifier, because he needed more comfort from me to fall asleep and with his crib, it was hard to do so, so when we did transition it was a much welcome thing.

Then April is Ramadan and May came and we celebrated Eid Al Fitr and a week later(which is last week) is Mother’s Day. My third time celebrating Mother’s Day with E. In between all that, insert deadlines, and projects and classes and lots of stress :) Working from home while a toddler is going through big emotions are hard. But it’s definitely something to remember.

I will try to update more here soon. Will definitely try to draw now :)

Till next time, M

January, birthdays and more.

Well, its a new year. Strange to think of it but at the same time it’s a familiar feeling. We went around the sun for a whole 365 days and here we are, going on another round I guess. When I told E this, he said, no the Earth doesn’t move. It stopped. He thinks its funny when I protest too much about how we can’t have the Earth stopped moving because it will just not be nice for us. This tiny kid and his never-ending life goal to say the opposite of what we will say :)

Tiny flowers. Also having a slight obsession with Baggu :)

It's almost the end of January. sometimes when I am outside I get sad when I look at people and realised we are all wearing masks and the reminder of how we are still in a pandemic. I still have not finished the book that I started in the beginning of January. I remember saying this book is good to gift to E when he is on the brink of teenage hood. I bought an Apple Pencil for myself. I have attempted a few drawings with it. It’s quite easy to get used to. Sleep has been a bit harder or it just feels like it. As E grows, he’s more aware or he develops feelings over things so maybe that’s why sleep has been a bit hard. But truthfully, I sometimes miss him needing me at night. He’s never the baby to want to cuddle to sleep. He’s never the baby to fall asleep with me close. Ever since we moved E to his own room(at 11 months) if he wakes up in the night, we’ll come in his room to support him back to sleep but sometimes that takes hours so we’ll end up sleeping next to him on the futon mattress. He has been good at sleeping through the night so occasionally when he wakes and doesn’t settle on his own, I’ll go to his room and he will say, sleep together and we will do so, while holding hands(this is what I miss from time to time, and sometimes wish for(this is after a long spell of good sleep)) . I still have not moisturised. I did buy a new body wash which I am excited about. I have yet to get a haircut. I think this is the longest my hair has been in a long time.

Oh yes the birthdays. E’s birthday was nice but definitely tiring for both him and us. Overstimulating. Partly because the year started with E skipping naps. We’re not sure if he is ready for that because he definitely runs on big deep emotions when he doesn’t nap, especially after a few days of no naps. I think we are going to do with a couple or three days of no nap then try to have him nap. Like today, he actually did nap(mostly because he woke up in the middle of the night and only fell back asleep hours later), we settled him in bed for quiet time and reminded him to listen to his body and rest if he needs to. and he did. I think he woke at night because of over tiredness. Some imbalance. he just need a reset after a few days. You can kind of see it build up, with his emotions. Like we know he is running on empty when he mostly cries at every single thing. So we are navigating that. Some no nap days here and there. And also always need a reset. Just like us.

We do have a big pending thing going on. We are moving! We have been talking about it for a while and we finally did go look at houses at the end of 2021 and we found a house that we think is cute and cosy? Just need to wait a bit before we can actually get started with renovations and all that. I think because of that we are also still thinking over the school locations for E. We definitely don’t want to interrupt our rhythm so much. Speaking of schools, we did try out independent forest school, like a trial(just for a day) and E actually went for it without much protest. We talked to him a lot about it and he was ok with being in school with just the teachers and other kids but alas the teachers said he’s not ready to do independent class yet. maybe we’ll try again in a few months to see how he’ll fare. I guess part of it is that he is familiar with the concept of forest school but he has never done things fully independently yet so it’s something he needs to be ready for.

So yes, we have a few things plan for this new year. School and new house. Can’t wait to go through it because now it’s all just waiting.

till next time, m